Remembering Hell
by Childhood Aspirations
Summary: I didn't want to remember how it felt to be alone. Completely and utterly alone. Unfortunately, my brain didn't get the memo. Hence the reason I woke up screaming again. Welcome the nightmares back... ONESHOT post-New Moon. R&R!


A/N- ...Yeah, so I was reading _New Moon_ again, and I just had to write something after I was done... And I had forgotten how much I enjoy writing for the Twilight universe, so...hope it's good! Enjoy, and review! -C.A.

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**Remembering Hell**

_By Childhood Aspirations_

Disclaimer: I do not own _New Moon_ or any of the other books in _The Twilight Saga_. All credit and praise goes to their incredible creator, Stephenie Meyer.

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I didn't think it was possible, now that _he_ had returned. After all, how could life be anything but perfect when Edward Cullen was here with me, only a fingerbreadth away? Forever and ever, I kept telling myself, to make sure it was permanently sunk in. I wanted it engraved on my heart for always. He was never going to leave me again.

How could there be anything wrong when the personification of divine perfection was so near? When he belonged to me?

And yet, in spite of all this, it happened.

For one night at least, the nightmares were back.

Maybe my mind hadn't fully grasped the situation yet. Maybe my brain thought that all of this was a dream, a figment of my imagination, and was trying to snap me back into reality with visions of the way things _had_ been.

Before. Before he came back to me.

It wasn't too unreasonable to think that my faculties remained a bit dazed. After all, just last week I had been riding motorcycles and jumping off cliffs, all for the purpose of hearing his lovely, velvet voice in my head. Of course, it turned out that my head was just trying to tell me that Edward loved me- as impossible as it still seems, sometimes- but still…

I stumbled through the nothingness that had plagued me for months during his absence, torturing me in unconsciousness. Nothingness turned to a dark forest of tall trees that seemed to lean in too close, making the atmosphere oppressive and the air hard to breathe. The wild green that covered everything almost seemed to be creeping, swallowing everything in its path, including me. Still I staggered through the menacing shadows, trying to escape the too-loud sound of rain dripping in the absolute silence. Finally I fell into the blackness that was crushing, pressing the life out of me and destroying any hope of ever seeing _him_ again-

-And woke screaming in my own room.

With my own Greek god laying next to me in bed, his cold arms of marble wrapped around me.

He sat up, gathering me even closer to him, murmuring gently in my ear. Shaking with sobs and gasping for breath, I closed my eyes tightly and clung to him.

It was a good thing that Charlie had stopped coming to check on me because of the screams. I would be in no condition to try and conceal the fact that Edward was in my bedroom if my father happened to walk in.

…Not that he would ever be able to catch Edward. But who knew if my big mouth would be crazy enough to say something that would give us away?

"Shh," my angel whispered, his breath cool and luscious against my cheek. "It's alright, Bella. You're safe. I'm here with you." One hand rubbed slow, soothing circles against my back while the other gently stroked my tangled hair. "It was just a nightmare."

I wanted to dash away the irritating tears clinging to my eyelashes and leaving streaks down my face. I wanted to go back to sleep as if nothing had ever happened, with his arms around my waist. I wanted to forget all about it.

But I couldn't. It had seemed so real, almost as real as the same nightmares I'd had for all those months of numbness…

"Don't leave me," I muttered hoarsely against the soft fabric of his shirt, feeling the cool granite of his perfect skin beneath. "Please don't leave me. Don't leave me alone." For a moment there was no response, just a soft intake of breath on his part; I struggled to calm my wildly pounding heart, glancing up into his face.

His porcelain features were twisted in a grimace of perfect agony, the manifestation of regret he always displayed whenever I inadvertently mentioned our time of separation. He knew what a mistake it had been; he knew- no more clearly than I wanted him to, though- what his absence had done to me. And what it had done to him.

"I am never going to leave you, Bella," he said, feather-soft but distinct. It wasn't just something to say; it was a vow. And I knew he would keep it. His smooth lips pressed against my forehead, hands still working to calm me as my heart slowly returned to its usual rhythm. He hummed a low, sweet melody: the lullaby he'd written for me. "I love you."

"I love you," I sighed contentedly, drifting off to sleep again in his arms. The nightmare, an unwelcome reminder of the hell my life had so recently been, was gone.

Banished by a love that seemed impossible.


End file.
